Episode Transcript
[00:00:02] Speaker A: Welcome to the Emerging Minds Families podcast.
[00:00:05] Speaker B: Hi, I'm Alicia Ranford, and you're listening to an emerging Minds Families podcast. Before we start the conversation today, we'd like to pay respects to the traditional custodians of the land on which this podcast is recorded, the Kaurna people of the Adelaide Plains. We also pay respect to all aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples, their ancestors and elders, past, present, and emerging from the different First nations across Australia. In today's wonderfully diverse society, families can come in many forms, each with their own unique strengths and challenges. Whether as you listen today, you are from a same sex, adoptive, nuclear, single parent, or blended family, you all reflect the richness of human relationships. And at emerging minds, we really value all families. In today's conversation, we are going to be talking about the unique connection of single parent families and the strength and resilience and the distinctive experiences and challenges that they can face as they navigate daily life. I am really thrilled to welcome back Emmy and Elliot, who have spoken to us previously about the ways families can reconnect if they have become disconnected over time. If you haven't already listened to that podcast, you can find a link in our show notes. Hi, Emmy and Elliot. It's great to have you both with us today.
[00:01:21] Speaker C: Hi.
[00:01:21] Speaker D: Hey.
[00:01:22] Speaker C: Thank you for having us.
[00:01:23] Speaker B: Emmy, you and Elliot have experience as a single parent family. Could you tell us a bit about this and that time in your life?
[00:01:30] Speaker D: Yeah, I was a single parent, I think for more time than being parented. So my first two children, I was a single parent, and neither of their dads were involved in our lives from the very start. So they'd only ever known the family as a single parent family. And then I met my ex partner and had two more children. And then that relationship ended, and I was a single parent again. So, yeah, Elliot, you were obviously very.
[00:01:57] Speaker B: Young during this time. What are your memories of this experience?
[00:02:01] Speaker C: Literally nothing but good things. So when it was just me and my younger brother, it's about four years, three, four years between us, I loved it. It was just mamza, me, my little brother, and, like, these two cats and sometimes a dog that we had. And I don't know, it was just the entire time. I didn't feel like I needed a father or a dad. I knew that mumza was very open from the beginning. I knew that I had a dad and that he just wasn't in my life. Like, you know, they didn't have to go into it. I also knew that my little brother had a different dad to me, who also wasn't in our life. And it was just a fact. Like, for a six year old, it was just a fact. And it was one of the most amazing childhood memories from when it was just us three. And it was like when Mumsa started dating my stepdad, who I call dad now. I actually hated it in the beginning. I hated his guts. I feel like a six year old. Like, I didn't want things to change. I loved it that it was just us three and. Yeah, and I had so many, so many beautiful childhood memories because of that.
[00:03:15] Speaker B: And it sounds like you really normalized this, as this is what your family was like.
[00:03:20] Speaker D: Oh, definitely. I always felt really strongly, and back then, then there was very much kind of social, cultural understanding that if you were a single parent, you weren't a complete family. And there were very negative ideas around single parenting. And if I had followed what was the social messaging, it would be that my children were going to grow up and become juvenile delinquents because I was a single parent and they needed a man in their lives. And I did not go with that at all. And so I was very adamant that just because we're a single parent family, it made no difference. And it didn't mean that we were lacking anything, but it didn't mean that I was lesser. And I did get caught up in the idea that the kids needed a male father figure, but not that much. And I did try to maintain this idea that I was able to provide everything that they needed, but that was hard. That was a pretty, pretty dominant messaging around at the time. But nonetheless, I really presented our family as a complete unit. And also, I never, even though Elliot and my other son had different fathers, I never, ever used the term step or half sibling or anything like that. And in my mind, there was never any difference between we were just a complete family.
[00:04:34] Speaker C: Yeah. And from the get go, like, growing up, I never saw our family as less than others. I almost saw it as, like, better because Mumza was way more present than other families and they were always with us. Like, it was always just us three. And so we were like, this really strong family unit. And, yeah, I knew that my brother was technically my step sibling. I knew that he wasn't my full brother, but I never, ever saw him as anything but, like, it wasn't until I grew up and I started kind of seeing things on, like, mainstream media, other kids that I realized that not everyone actually sees that people see half siblings as less than full siblings. And I have never, ever, ever seen any of my youngest siblings as anything, but my siblings brother and sister couldn't all the way through, like my little sister and my little brother do share the same father. I don't think of them as any less or any more my siblings. It will always be us four, we're all siblings. Three brothers, one sister. We always. It's always been like that. It's just like, it's never been half or anything.
[00:05:50] Speaker B: It's a lovely message that family is family.
[00:05:52] Speaker D: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And a sole parent family is just as much a family as a two parent family.
[00:06:00] Speaker B: And I know from speaking with you before Emmy that you did face challenges as a single parent family. Can you tell us a little bit about those?
[00:06:09] Speaker D: Yeah, I guess there was the challenge in. Well, there was quite a few, but to start, one would be around time. So definitely everything. You really had to be organised with your time because you were doing everything by yourself. I didn't have, for a lot of the time, any assistance, and the assistance I had was very unassisting. So I didn't have things like babysitters or so on. So I got sick, really couldn't do much. I just, you know, had to be sick with the kids. It's very hard to go out and do things. I was studying art at the time and there was always lots of art openings, so I just took the kids with me, but some things I just couldn't go to. And though there was a money aspect, so we definitely were a lot poorer, I guess, financially because of the money. And then I guess there was also just that ongoing messaging around single parenting that was very hard to hold up against. And so when I met my ex, it was like this sense of relief that, oh, you know, finally we're going to be like a full family. Even though I knew that wasn't the case, I think that messaging kind of just impacts eventually.
[00:07:10] Speaker B: Elliot, when we spoke, you said a beautiful thing was that looking back, you never realized that you didn't have any money. Do you want to make a comment about that?
[00:07:18] Speaker C: Yes. So as an adult, I can look back and I realized that we were actually quite poor. But I don't know, as a child, that never, ever struck me. It wasn't the fact that it was almost like. It wasn't that we were poor, it was just other kids were really spoilt. So I never had this concept of we were poor or we were struggling for money because we all got to go on school camps. We always had a school uniform. Like that was secondhand, but that was just because there was no point buying a school uniform when the second hand ones are just as good. And that's something that I still keep with me, like, to this day. And the toys that we did get were sturdy, like they lasted us. And also we had each other. We didn't need to go buy things from tuck shop because we had our own lunch. And it was just like growing up instead of seeing us as poor, it was. We have a better outlook on life than these other kids do. Like, these other kids are getting these big things for Christmas and it's just like, wow, you don't need that.
[00:08:28] Speaker B: So it sounds like you really distilled some alternative values in your kids throughout this time.
[00:08:34] Speaker D: Yeah, very much. I guess I have always had strong values of social justice and equality, I suppose. And that's informed my parenting. And that means that, I guess that kind of. Yeah, that was probably something that helped me a lot with the difficult times as single parenting because I was able to frame it in almost like a political mindset. And I suppose that kind of externalizes it a little bit because it's not really about me then it's about some external force because we didn't have a lot. The things that we did have. I have really had to put a lot of time into to make it, you know, to make it last and make it worthwhile. So, like, I cooked a lot of our own meals because we just couldn't afford to go out and eat, take away or dine out. So they couldn't go to the tuck shop, for instance. So, yeah, I cooked all the meals. When I bought them something, I tried to buy something that was nice and good quality and would last. And it's usually secondhand. So I guess I. Yeah, became kind of thrifty, I suppose. I suppose I just put a lot of thought into what we did do. And we did stuff which didn't cost anything. So we would have. A lot of times we would go out on the weekends, we'd try and go somewhere new. So if I had enough for petrol, we'd go for a big drive somewhere and go to a beach or a walk. And if I didn't, we'd just go around where we lived and do some exploring. So I guess I tried to have a lot of adventures.
[00:09:53] Speaker C: We were also a very active family, actually, looking back when we were in New South Wales, like, on the east coast, we were going to the beach, like, almost every day for a swim. And because, like, east coast, you have to be. It's a lot less tamer than a lot of the beaches here, it's less so much as an easy day out and was more like a bit more of like a.
Yeah, yeah. And, you know, we had bikes and I had like a set of roll skates and.
Yeah. And we just used to. We always out of the house, I.
[00:10:26] Speaker D: Think, because we being poor. Your house is usually pretty small, you're cramped, you want to get out because you want to get out of your four walls.
[00:10:34] Speaker C: It wasn't until I moved out that any of the kids had their own room. It was only because once I moved out, there was an odd number. Yeah, yeah.
[00:10:43] Speaker D: And Elliot's room was a sunroom a lot of the time.
[00:10:45] Speaker C: Oh, yeah, yeah. I think the only time I ever had my own room was like this one time. Yeah. Where it was a repurposed sunroom where they just like, it got the wall knocked out and so that. Because like the. You could only access it from the outside. So they knocked the wall in and kept my bedroom for a bit with a curtain. Yeah, well, I loved it. I mean, I hated it because I had to go through my brother's room to get to my room and he was like, you can't go through here. But I loved it because. Sucks to be him. I have my own room and it's a sunroom.
[00:11:15] Speaker D: I love that.
[00:11:17] Speaker B: And were there resources or supports you access that help you during this time?
[00:11:22] Speaker D: Yeah, usually when we went to a new area, I would always find the local library when. So there are two periods of being a single parent. The first period was before I met my ex and that was up until Elliot was either five or six. Six. And that was the more idyllic period.
Yeah, that was the final year and, yeah, things weren't as hard then. They still have their challenges, but, yeah, it was more. Definitely more idyllic. And then the second period was after my ex had left and that was when you were about four to 15. That was a time where things were quite tricky and involved homelessness. I was dealing with a lot of trauma. The family was quite disheveled, really, in many ways. That was a lot more challenging. That involved a lot of moving around because we're going from refuges and trying to find a safe place and, yeah, it involved lots of upheavals and I guess that was when I really tried to find the community services. So it would be like the local food places, the local community organisations.
[00:12:25] Speaker C: The soup kitchens.
[00:12:26] Speaker D: Yeah, soup kitchens. Those places were actually really, really good.
[00:12:30] Speaker C: We had a lot of good family memories at like, soup kitchens.
[00:12:32] Speaker D: Yeah, soup kitchens were fantastic.
[00:12:34] Speaker C: Yeah. Like, even though. Yeah, they were for people who were struggling or, like, I know there was definitely a couple of places. There was probably a lot of people who were homeless. We had some really, really good family bonding time, I guess, there.
[00:12:46] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:12:47] Speaker C: But, yeah, just all of us survive, I guess, by then. And it was also nice because you got to have food that you wouldn't normally have. Like, one time we had lasagna. I was the best. Oh, it was so good. And, like, there was, like, Mac and cheese, like, all sorts of things that Mamza wouldn't cook or anything like that. And we got to have it for free, pretty much. And, like, they had the. When they gave out bread, they saw, like. Cause us kids were there and get all these beautiful, beautiful old ladies who would just give us free cookies and cupcakes, and we got all these free sweets. And so it was a really good time.
[00:13:22] Speaker D: One thing that I always try to do was have some kind of weekly thing, like a weekly treat. So in the first period, the idyllic period of being a single parent, once a week, myself, Elliot, and Elliot's brother would walk. It was like a 20 minutes walk, maybe a bit longer, and we'd walk along the water kind of dockfront area where we lived in Newcastle, and we'd go and get an ice cream, and then we'd walk back. And we did this every Sunday.
[00:13:46] Speaker C: Yeah, I think I remember this.
[00:13:48] Speaker D: Yeah, every Sunday for. Just religiously for a long time. And it was just something that we did, so. And then we kind of replicated that with the visits to the soup kitchens. And I think that was a really. It was a nice thing to do, to have this kind of regular family outing that was. It was like something that was ours, you know, our family thing, I think something that was really good for us, because when you're a single parent, you really want to try and make yourself. You have to work harder to make yourself a family unit, because the messaging is so much even now that you're not a family unit, that you're incomplete. And so I really wanted to work hard at creating this sense of family unit, to withhold against that messaging, which ultimately, the kids and I would get even, you know, kids, definitely. And so we would do a lot of things together as a unit to create this sense that we were this complete unit.
[00:14:35] Speaker C: And it worked because of these outings and adventures that we all did. Because we all did them together. Like, no one got left behind. If you didn't want to go, too bad, you're coming along.
[00:14:48] Speaker D: And sometimes the kids did not want to go. Like, sometimes we would have, you know, be dragging them out the door just about, but every single time, we would always be just so happy after we have so many good memories.
[00:14:59] Speaker C: And that's the thing, like. Cause whenever we didn't want to go, it was because we were grumpy, angsty teenagers. We're smelly, sweaty, and all these emotions. But it always felt so much better, and we always had so much fun, even if it was just like, walking along the beach and racing against, like, waves or something, or, like, mucking around or something. And, you know, one of us would always take it too far. I'm pretty sure it was just me and my. Me and my brother that always did. But, you know, it was, at the end of the day, it was a really, really positive time. It's something that I still try to use and do with my own son.
[00:15:38] Speaker B: And you obviously just did a wonderful job at finding those family moments, hearing Elliot's reflections on that time.
[00:15:44] Speaker D: Yeah, yeah, I think we had some really nice ones.
[00:15:47] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:15:47] Speaker B: And were there things you did to foster a sense of belonging and community during the non idyllic time when you did feel more isolated?
[00:15:56] Speaker D: I think it was finding the local community activities and outings. So, you know, in the days before we had Facebook was a thing then, but it wasn't big. So you would go to, like, your community notice board or look in the local paper and find. Because I had to be free, you know, because I literally never had spend money to pay for anything. And most of these community driven events were free. And so we would kind of try and go along to these, and there might be like a. An art event happening in the park, or there might be a kids reptile event happening. So that kind of stuff where we could.
[00:16:29] Speaker C: And crafts in the library were fun.
[00:16:31] Speaker D: Yes. Yeah, yeah, definitely. The stuff that happens in the library, things where we could go and always mindful as well, that they couldn't be too organized, you know, because if life's a little bit difficult, usually kids are a little bit unruly. So you didn't want to go anywhere where, you know, the kids had to be told what to do, do and behave and all that. So I had to be a little bit open ended.
[00:16:51] Speaker C: Yeah, we were not good at that. We were monsters. I loved it.
[00:16:56] Speaker D: Well, you know, typical rambunctious children with some difficulty thrown in the mix.
[00:17:03] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:17:03] Speaker D: Going to somewhere where they had to sit down and listen was not going to happen.
[00:17:07] Speaker B: But it sounds like there was lots of activities, Elliot, that you really valued.
[00:17:10] Speaker C: Yeah. The times where we were outside or running around, those were the best also, I guess, because we did it all the time, but we always used to go for walks along the beach, and some of those did happen while dad was, like, still with mums, but he wasn't there. He was very, like, absent. So it kind of almost was like, it was just us and mums are, like, for so long. It was just like, even though dad was, like, there in, like, in the sense that he was in the house or he was, like, doing work, he was just like. He was never actually there as a parent. Well, not for me, but, yeah, he was never actually there as a parent. And so it meant a lot of the things that we did, we did with just mumsa. And so, yeah, walks along the beach, where we kind of all go at different paces, but we'd all kind of get back together as a group and then kind of spread out and then kind of come back together again. Those were, like, some of my favorite things. Also hikes up really tall mountains.
[00:18:11] Speaker D: We did a lot of hikes.
[00:18:12] Speaker C: A lot of hike.
[00:18:14] Speaker D: We did beaches, rock climbing and hikes. Yeah, yeah, that were our favorite things. We did a lot of that and we saw a lot of really beautiful places. Because of our financial situation, we were pushed out and out of the cities because who could afford to live in the cities? We never could. And we just got further and further out. But what that meant was we had access to this incredible environment around us. Nature has always been so incredibly important for our family, and it's always been incredibly important for me. And so we did a lot of stuff. We just used to go to these places where no one else was. It was just us. The kids could run off and do whatever, and we were really adventurous. I mean, look at our back. The kids did some pretty full on stuff. Rock skipping, climbing up vertical hills.
[00:18:59] Speaker B: And Emmy, looking back, what did you learn about yourself during this time and your strength as a single parent?
[00:19:05] Speaker D: Well, I guess I never thought I was going to be a parent, and I never thought I could be or wanted to be. I just thought it was completely out of. Out of my range of life, life things. So I guess I learned that I can be a parent and actually have a fair bit of maternal instinct in me. Maybe not the most traditional one, but it's there. Maybe I'm non binary, so maybe I literally am a bit of mum and dad. So I guess that is one thing I learned. But I did. I learned that I could be a complete parent for the kids. And I learned that I had to do a lot of educating myself to be a parent because I literally had been given no parenting skills from my own childhood. And in fact, I mentioned this before, I parented a negative. So the only parenting skills that I bought with my to my family was what not to do. So I had to learn what to do. Some of it comes naturally and logically, but I did do a lot of reading and I did some courses just to skill myself in how to be a parent. And that was ongoing.
[00:20:03] Speaker B: And were there rewarding aspects of being a single parent that you perhaps didn't anticipate?
[00:20:07] Speaker D: Yeah, definitely. Just how close we are. I've been able to compare it to being in a relationship, even though the relationship wasn't healthy. If I could maybe take out the unhealthiness, just the very fact that it's complicated parenting with another person. But I guess what I found out being a single parent, and which I wasn't expecting, is that you are able to just be completely with your kids. Not saying that you don't have a life of your own, you do, but there's just. It brings in so much, I think, that you couldn't get as a couple family. You know, it's just yourself and your kids. So you've got a kind of society set up for couple parenting, so you've got to do the job of the two parents. In our social world, you know, the way the society is set up, so it's more difficult in that way. But you just have this incredibly strong bond. And we literally did do everything together. And, yeah, I wasn't expecting the closeness that came from that. And that was really precious.
[00:21:05] Speaker C: I used to think that. I used to. Well, I sort of still do, but I used to hate having two parents. It used to really, really bug me, the fact that I had two parents. And obviously this is like, partially because I did spend, like, my formative development years with just me, my brother and mumsa. But I still hated the fact that there were two different sets of rules. Like, yeah, followed the same traditions and general family rules, but there was, like, individual things where Mamza had one opinion, dad had a different opinion, or dad really, really wanted us to do this activity. And it's something that Mamza was, like, indifferent, but there wasn't that. No matter how healthy the relationship, I don't think there will ever be that true 100% mesh of singular opinion, because it's impossible. And so as a child, having a single parent that I can trust that I know isn't going to split in half or fight with themselves. I don't know. It was so much better than having to like share, I guess. And also the fact that like, you know, we all had like an equal relationship with Onesa like they loved us all the same.
[00:22:25] Speaker D: Yeah. Yeah, definitely.
[00:22:27] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:22:27] Speaker D: Yeah, that's true actually, because it was just me. There wasn't this sense of sharing the love in a way and, you know, splitting the love. Splitting the love, yeah. And so, yeah, the kids all knew they were loved like equally. There was never any sense that they weren't. And yeah, if ever the kids ever said, oh, how much do you love me? I always say, well, love can't be measured.
[00:22:46] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:22:47] Speaker D: It's either there or it's not. And it just is.
[00:22:50] Speaker C: It's almost like that catchphrase now. Yeah, love can't be measured.
[00:22:54] Speaker B: And so how do you think being a single parent has shaped your perspective on parenting and the values you instill in your children?
[00:23:02] Speaker D: I think I really respect the importance of being a parent, how much influence you have on your children and that the way you parent is every parent is unique and different. I always knew that I didn't parent in a very traditional way because being a single parent, being poor, but that doesn't make it any less just different. So I've got a real understanding that difference in parenting doesn't make it less or more, it's just different. And that if you don't parent one way, it's okay. The way you parent, if you're not damaging your kids or doing something bad, the way you parent is probably fine. What fits in your family fits for a reason, because it's your family. So I guess I got, I got a good respect for the role of parenting in children's lives. And also aside from that, that it's important to can't know everything. And sometimes you do have to do some learning and education because we do have the benefit of understanding about child health. That's not come out of a vacuum. That's come with a lot of years of people, you know, professionals doing this as their job and nothing else. And that's a lot of wisdom that I was able to tap into by doing some courses and reading and so on. So, yeah, I guess I also learned that you don't have to know everything or be everything, but that's okay because there's things you can do to fill the gaps.
[00:24:21] Speaker B: And what about you, Elliot, as a parent yourself? What do you think the values that growing up in a single parent family have brought to your parenting and the way you parent your child?
[00:24:32] Speaker C: Yeah, well, because growing up, it was mums whole attention was on us. It kind of made me really realize how much, especially because my son is only, he's only five. So, you know, those younger years, toddler years are still pretty fresh in my brain, but when he was younger, I did a circular security program and it was tailored towards infants. But one of the main thing was the whole checking in, checking out. And so as a single parent, because I had to be there the entire time, I all of a sudden could just see my child and see how much he loves me and see how much he needed a parent in a way that if I was in a relationship, I probably wouldn't have noticed. And so in a way, it's brought me so much closer with my son. And because it's just us too, there's no other sibling to share attention. So, like, he still sleeps in my bed and we do everything together. If I go and visit my friend, it's a condition. It's kind of like a guarantee that my son will be with me. If we go to the park, it's together. If he goes to an activity, I will be there too. So I'm the one who drops him off at school and picks him up. So one of the things I always try to instill is the fact that because it's just us all the time, we get see each other's bad sides as well. It's like, obviously he's a child, he gets grumpy and has tantrums, but, you know, he also sees me when I'm upset and I'm frustrated and I'm burnt out. And so from the beginning, I told him the moment he was able to understand, really made sure to explain to him that I always love you. Even when I'm angry or I'm upset, I always love you. And that is something that we tell each other all the time. Like, even sometimes when he has huge, huge tantrums where he's like really, really tired, he will stomp his feet, he'll fling his hands, he'll scream and then kind of like calms down, he'll cry and then he'll say, I'm really angry, but I still love you. And it's when I hear that, that I know that he understands that I'm there for him. And he's at the age where he's just still going through these intense emotions, he's still learning how to manage them and he's not going to learn this, learn how to manage them for a while so I can help him understand it, but I can't make him deal with these emotions. So at the very least, I can be there for him no matter what. And that's what, that's why I'm trying to make, as a family, us two, that we are there for each other no matter what. And that I will always be his parent. Like, I will always, always be his dad and I will always be there for him, even if he messes up. And it's just that is something that I always live by. And it's partially because mums are the way that I was raised. The fact that, you know, no matter what, through thick and thin, they were there for me even then when, like, I moved out and we kind of like, separated for a bit, they were still there for me as my parent when I moved back in and reconnected, I guess. And so I always try and I always want to be able to live by that with my own son.
[00:27:48] Speaker B: That's lovely. And what would your message be to other single parents who may be feeling overwhelmed or isolated that are listening to this conversation?
[00:27:57] Speaker D: Yeah, look, it's not always easy, but that's, you know, it is what it is. So I think just allow yourself to have the bad days, the days when you're tired. You're not going to be perfect. It is hard, but you're going to have the times when you just have so much joy. This is a unique thing, being a single parent. It's looked down on in so many ways, but it should be looked up. I mean, you know, single parents do an incredible job. It's a unique situation where it's just you and your kids and that offers so many opportunities to be able to share what's important to you with your kids. So, yeah, think about what, what it is you want to pass down to your children. What do you want to instill in them? That's important because you can and you will. And, yeah, make use of things like childcare. It's there for a reason. If you can use it, use it. I didn't have a lot of family help, so childcare was really, really good. And just try and get out and make memories and they're usually done outside somewhere if you can.
[00:28:56] Speaker C: I would also say, take the handouts, throw away that kind of sense of people pitying you or the whole needing charity or like that whole thing. It's just like if someone offers you something, take it, because it's going to be useful. And another thing is something that I always kind of tell myself on my really, really bad days where. Because Mumza is the only other person that I can actually. That can actually help out when it comes to parenting, but I tell myself on the bad days where Mumza isn't there for me, that 30% is enough. And it's just like, I think to myself, 30% is all he needs to be. Okay. I can just do 30% for that one day. There have been days where he's just sat in front of the tv the entire time watching this one octonaut movie on repeat. Yeah, just watching this one movie on repeat. And he can do that because if he didn't, he would probably suffer because I'm not able to give him more than 30%. He'll have food, he has water. When he had a nappy, I made sure his nappy was changed, and I can just sit in my bedroom and take the break that I need until the next day.
[00:30:13] Speaker B: It's a lovely message.
[00:30:14] Speaker D: Yeah. There's one more point I wanted to make, so. Because I had a problem with alcohol and other drugs at one stage, luckily, it wasn't a huge stage, but it was a stage. What I know is that being a single parent, when you're dealing with that as well, the biggest impact is you just can't keep your children safe in the same way, and it can be potentially quite damaging. And so, I mean, when I say that there's nothing wrong with being a single parent and so on, there isn't. But because it's just you, you don't have the ability to kind of fall back like that. So you do have a bigger responsibility to manage your issues. And if that's one of your issues, it has to be managed because it's a huge issue and it could be so incredibly destructive. So, yeah, even though it's got a lot of, a lot more opportunity to have this incredible bonding and love, there's a huge responsibility to make sure that you stay safe and healthy.
[00:31:07] Speaker C: Yeah. It's one of those things where you kind of have to prioritize your children more than yourself, but prioritise your health so you can prioritise your children.
[00:31:17] Speaker D: And the other important thing, too, I think, is to make sure that you have something for yourself, whether that's a hobby or volunteering work or a job or study, something that is incredibly meaningful for you, because you do need to keep your own self, because it's so much parenting.
[00:31:33] Speaker B: Oh, thank you, Emmy and Elliot, for talking with us today. And I really loved hearing the beautiful moments in your single parenting journey and in particular both of your love of nature and what that's meant for you as a family. So thank you.
[00:31:49] Speaker D: Thank you, thank you.
[00:31:51] Speaker A: Visit our website at www.emergingminds.com dot au families for a wide range of free information and resources to help support child and family mental health. Emerging minds leads the National Workforce Centre for Child Mental Health. The centre is funded by the Australian Government Department of Health under the National Support for Child and Youth Mental Health program.
